First time mentoring? Here are my 5 tips for becoming a great mentor
I somehow fell into my first mentorship role many years ago. When I first got started, I had so many doubts, do I have the necessary experience to be taking this role head on? How do balance listening with giving advice? Since that very first mentoring role I’ve walked this path many times. I’ve learnt in abundance about what makes mentorship really work. These are the tips that I wish someone had shared with me when I first began my mentoring journey.
Tip 1) Start with a structure
Very early on, you need to be able to iron out your communication channels as well as when, where and how you will be connecting with your mentee. Technically there is no right way of going about it. Depending on what is mutually beneficial for you both, you could opt to meet daily, weekly or monthly, as well as in-person or remotely. The quantity of time spent doesn’t necessarily correlate with quality.
Tip 2) Acknowledge there will be awkwardness
More often than not, the person you are going to be mentoring looks up to you. You will have built up a reputation and may have a number of accolades and qualifications to match. As such, your mentee may be a little reserved to start with. You may have a few awkward moments yourself, in the early days. It’s important to try and brush this off as quickly as possible. In order for you both to be getting as much out of the relationship as possible, you need to be comfortable. Fast-track that relationship and play pretend in order to make your mentee feel as though you’ve known each other for years.
Tip 3) Tackling toxic relationships
Not every mentorship experience is going to go smoothly. Some mentees may be overzealous in their requests for assistance and thus make you feel as though you are working for them or for their benefit, instead of being in a mutually engaging and beneficial relationship. If you have brought their unhealthy co-dependency to their attention and tried to find alternate sources of support in excess of what you can currently offer, then it might be time to end the relationship. You’re an experienced professional so sever the tie in a manner that is reflective of your professionalism. Wrap it up with what you have observed from a career standpoint and mention that you do not have the time to commit to the amount of industry-based attention that they feel they need.
Tip 4) Do a progress check-up
Once in a while, you have to step back and ask yourself, where the relationship is at. Assess whether or not you’ve been serious about monitoring what you and your mentee have been doing. You need to be monitoring this process to ensure that you’re making progress and not just having great conversation. Ask yourself, have I been listening, have I given them the right advice? Are they hearing me and doing something with what we discussed? Do you see evidence that they’re trying to take steps forward? Are you confident in their abilities to continue making progress? If you’re not engaging in a two-way check-up at least every 6 months, you run the risk of not moving forward fast enough and plateauing.
Tip 5: Find your own mentor
Even mentors need mentors! Here’s the truth, when you’re mentoring people, eventually you’ll run into issues you didn’t see coming; ones that you’re not sure how to address. When that happens, you’re going to reach out to your network, find one of your trusted mentors, show them what’s going on with this relationship you’ve got, and see if they can help you think through the options. You’ve got to continue stepping up your own game and honing your skills. Even if you’re great at what you do, you always have more to learn; and remembering that makes you humble and a better advisor.
Do you have any tips for first-time mentors? Share them below.